so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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