My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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