Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
