Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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