If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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