Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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