drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
