theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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