I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize