either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
