what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
