I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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