um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
