dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
