I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
