I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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