ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
