whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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