I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
