just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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