nut hugger
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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