We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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