You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
