Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
