I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
