I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize