the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
