her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
