woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
