I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
