my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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