we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
