He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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