when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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