i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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