At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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