Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
