Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we're making bets on your personal life
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize