We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
