What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize