Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
