if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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