YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
