Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
