absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
