dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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