"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
