Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
