Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
