I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
