For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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