even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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