All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My feet surprised me
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