It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
