it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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