So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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