Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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