life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize