In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
