Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
