Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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