Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
