i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Panties = found
Randomize
