Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
