You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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