Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
