I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
