I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
