carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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