i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
