Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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