The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
