so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
