so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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