Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
