sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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