I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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