office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
