Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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